


Wanna Follow Your Voice But I Don't Know How

by punknouis



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is a tease, Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Zukaang - Freeform, Zuko overthinks everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25613464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punknouis/pseuds/punknouis
Summary: I dream of sweat dripping around my neckAnd I felt upset but I didn't know whyA thousand miles of road stretched from east to westI tried to follow your voice but I didn't know howWhere are you now? (I can't catch my breath)
Relationships: Aang/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time writing for ATLA, first time doing something with chapters, and I haven't written anything in like almost 6 years. LOL.
> 
> I didn't want to post this in parts but I am getting impatient and also still figuring out where this is going. This is taking place like, 10 years post-canon, so everyone is of age and it's not weird.
> 
> Heavily inspired by the song Stranger by Dijon, which is always stuck in my head. The title and the summary come from that song!
> 
> Also this is unbeta'd so I apologize for any mistakes!

Zuko wakes with a jolt, sweat beads glistening at his hairline. He rubs the back of his hand over his forehead and grimaces at the moisture. He turns and sees a large dark circle on his pillowcase where his face had been laying just moments before. He’ll have to make sure his sheets get sent to be washed in the morning.

He turns the pillow over and flops back down, trying to go back to sleep. But instead he sees flashes of the dream that had startled him awake: warm breath on his neck, slender fingers curving around his wrists, and grey eyes staring down at him with more openness and sincerity than anyone deserves.

Zuko tosses and turns for the rest of the night. Sleep eludes him.

A few days after being woken by his distressing dream, Zuko receives a message while looking over paperwork in his study.

_Zuko,_

_I know that I only saw you two weeks ago, but if it’s not too much of an inconvenience I would like to come by the palace again and stay for a few days. I’m already missing your fiery presence._

_Aang_

He quickly grabs a pen and a scroll and tries not to overthink his reply.

_Aang,_

_You are never an inconvenience. Your presence is always welcomed. See you soon._

_Zuko_

“Have this sent out immediately. To the Avatar.” Zuko hands the scroll to a servant nearby.

That night, when his body is dripping in a cold sweat in the early hours of the morning, awoken by dreams of soft lips on his chest, it does not surprise him.

When Aang arrives, Zuko is not there to greet him. He is in a meeting with local officials regarding trading goods with the Earth Kingdom. A guard interrupts his meeting to inform him that the Avatar has arrived and is waiting for him in the gardens. Zuko apologizes hastily to the officials for ending the meeting early and promises to resume it at a later date.

As he stands up, his chair scrapes against the ground. An Earth Kingdom ambassador raises an eyebrow as she watches the Fire Lord breeze out of the room.

He finds Aang sitting on a rock by the pond, intertwining the stems of flowers. When he hears Zuko’s voice, he turns and makes eye contact with him.

Zuko remembers the same grey eyes from his dream and almost turns on his heel right then and there. But Aang is already standing up to meet him halfway, the half-completed flower crown abandoned in the grass, and he can’t turn back now. He can’t turn away from those strong arms, open and waiting for Zuko.

When they embrace, Zuko rests his head on Aang’s shoulder. Although it hasn’t been long since they last saw each other, he can’t deny how glad he is to feel his warmth again. Aang smells less earthy than usual, more like fresh air, and Appa is nowhere in sight. 

“No Appa?” He asks as they let go of each other after what feels like forever, but also not long enough.

“Nope, just me and my glider this time,” Aang nods his head to where his glider lays on the ground, “Sokka and Suki are looking after him and Momo.”

“So, what brings you back again so soon? Not that I’m not happy to have you…” Zuko trails off. He doesn’t want to question Aang’s desire to be here, but he had hoped he would have had more time before having to face him again.

“What, I can’t just want to hang out with my favorite Fire Lord?” Aang elbows Zuko lightly in the ribs. The way his lips curl around his words makes Zuko’s stomach flip. 

Zuko rolls his eyes to recover. “Would you like some lunch? It’s about that time,” he offers as they start to walk back towards the palace. Maybe putting food in his stomach will help it settle.

“Why are you being so formal? Everything okay with you, Hotman?” Aang asks with a chuckle. 

Zuko groans, "Don't call me that, please."

Zuko normally is fond of the old nickname, although he would never admit that. But in the moment it doesn't sit well with him.

"I'll stop if you stop being so weird," Aang concedes.

Zuko rolls his eyes, not nearly as annoyed as he lets on. He ignores the weight on his chest in favor of simply enjoying Aang's light, not knowing how much longer he'll get to bask in it.


	2. Chapter 2

_ Appa grunts as Aang ties the ropes around his horns to get them ready to leave. Zuko is watching the way Aang’s fingers work nimbly around the knots and forgets that Aang is trying to have a conversation with him. _

_ “Sorry, what was that?” Zuko cuts in, his brain suddenly restarting and refocusing. _

_ Aang just smiles, unbothered by the interruption. “I was just thanking you for letting me stay for so long.” _

_ “Two weeks is hardly a long time,” Zuko replies. **And it’s never enough,** he thinks to himself. _

_ Aang tightens the last knot in the rope and jumps to the ground with ease. “I appreciate it nonetheless,” and he opens his arms wide, “Come here.” _

_ Zuko can’t help but smile and accepts the hug, clinging tightly to the younger man’s waist. He remembers when he used to be taller than Aang, but those days are long gone. _

_ Zuko speaks into the crook of Aang's neck, “Come back soon.” _

_ Aang’s hands move from around Zuko’s shoulders to his face, cupping his jaw. His thumb moves across Zuko’s cheek. _

_ Zuko can’t place the look in his eyes, and doesn’t have the chance to. His eyes close as their lips meet and Zuko feels like he’s been struck by lightning. The current traveling through his chest shocks his senses, and he struggles to control it. He kisses him back, hoping to redirect this overwhelming sensation. _

_ When they pull apart, Aang’s eyes are alight with sparks. Sparks that Zuko started. Neither of them say another word as the airbender floats atop his spirit animal and takes off into the sky.  _

-

Zuko lay awake staring at the ceiling of his bedchamber. The rest of the day passed without incident, wandering around the city and talking aimlessly. They went their separate ways after dinner. Nothing was mentioned of the way they had said goodbye at the end of Aang’s previous visit. Aang acted as if it never happened. It wasn’t like him to leave things unsaid. So if he did not want to have that conversation, for whatever reason, then neither did Zuko. 

The heavy curtain of tension surrounding them has been there for longer than Zuko can remember. He’s not sure if he’s ready to pull the curtain back completely and reveal what they could be.

But he also knows that now he has gotten a peek, he’s not sure if he can ever go back to how it was before.

Zuko doesn’t sleep deeply enough for dreams that night.

The next day, Zuko is exhausted. He can’t bear to be near Aang’s boundless energy and carefree disposition. He calls for one of his guards to tell Aang that he's busy all day and that he will see him for dinner that night. For once, he is grateful for the monotonous and often trivial tasks that come with being the Fire Lord. He dives into everything that he had been putting off over the past weeks.

Just as the sun begins to set, he hears a knock at his door.

“Come in,” Zuko says with an irritated tone, not looking up from the scroll he is reading over.

“Fire Lord Zuko, your presence is needed urgently.”

Zuko rolls his eyes as he turns to see Aang standing at attention in the doorway, an over exaggerated scowl on his face.

“What’s the emergency, a turtleduck needs to be fed? A child lost their toy?” Sarcasm drips off of Zuko’s words and a grin takes over Aang's face, breaking his facade.

“Hey, those are all very serious emergencies. But I think the Avatar can handle that alone,” crosses the room to reach for Zuko and his voice returns to the mock-serious tone it had upon entering, “This emergency requires your help.” 

Aang’s fingers curl around Zuko’s wrist with a sense of urgency. Zuko wants to pull away, but Aang is looking at him with a sincerity he has seen only once before.

“I need you to accompany me to dinner.”

-

As Fire Nation servants clear away their plates, Zuko drains the last drops of rice wine from his cup. Aang bows his head to each one, thanking them profusely for the meal. Zuko smiles and shakes his head, endeared by the air nomad’s genuine gratitude. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Zuko says with a tight nod.

“It was delicious! I’m so glad there’s some more vegetarian meals being made here now.” Aang smiles with contentment. He lifts his glass and swirls the last bit of rice wine around, droplets hanging on to the side of the glass.

“Well when you come to visit I always make sure the kitchen has enough that you can eat.” His voice comes out quieter than intended, his fingers tapping the side of his empty glass.

“That’s so kind of you, Your Royal Hotness,” Aang teases. And if Zuko is blushing, neither of them mention it.

“Do you want any more wine?”

Aang hums before responding, “No, but I could go for some tea actually.”

The night air is crisp and stings Zuko's skin, sobering him up as they walk back to his room. The fog from the wine has lifted and he feels rigid again, stiff with nerves and overly aware of the way Aang's body leans into his as they walk.

Aang insists on brewing the tea himself, ignoring Zuko's protests.

“Let me do something nice for you,” he says.

They sit on the floor and drink their tea in silence. Their dinner had been filled with Aang’s loud jokes, followed by his own laughter. It had echoed through the halls, and Zuko’s ears. Their silence was just as comforting, their energies radiating and finding peace in just being together.

As their tea starts to grow cold in their cups, Zuko breaks their comfortable silence.

“This is really nice,” he says, “It’s nice to be able to spend time together when we’re not under threat.”

Aang chuckles, “Yeah, it’s a good thing we’re actually friends and enjoy each other’s company. Otherwise spending so much time together would not be nearly as enjoyable.”

Zuko looks down at the maroon fibers of the carpet beneath him. He strokes his hand over the soft stitches. “Yep, just good friends.”

Aang bumps his shoulder into Zuko’s. “Best friends,” he reminds him, although Zuko needs no reminder. He hasn’t had one before, but he knows this is not how you should feel towards a best friend.

Zuko stands up abruptly. “I’m getting really tired, I think I’m going to get ready to sleep.”

Aang looks up at him from his seated position. Zuko can’t help but notice how young he looks from this position. But he is nowhere near the same as the kid he once knew.

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” Aang asks.

Zuko knows he should say no, but how can he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case it wasn't clear, that first part that was italicized is a flashback to the last time Zuko and Aang saw each other before this all takes place. Just wanted to give you a peek into what Zuko is so distraught about!
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments on the last chapter, they made my week!  
> Sorry this took a minute to update, had some grown up stuff to take care of this week and didn't have a lot of time to write. Unbeta'd and kind of rushed so I apologize for any mistakes.
> 
> Hope you're ready for more pining!

Aang smiles brightly and jumps backwards onto the bed, like he owns the place. Zuko just shakes his head with a smile on his face not quite as wide as Aang's, then turns to take off his outer robes, only leaving on his undershirt and pants.

He can hear Aang shifting out of his robes as well and tries to steady his breathing, not letting himself peek. When he turns around, Aang is laid out shirtless with his hands behind his head, the lines of his abdomen pulled taught.

A fire in Zuko grows, roaring in his gut. It takes all of his self-control to tamper it down.

“Aren't you coming?” Aang jokes.

Zuko didn’t realize he was standing there staring. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Aang shirtless before, but seeing him stretched out lazily in his bed is making him lose focus.

Zuko gets into bed and lays on his side to face Aang. They’re an arm’s length apart, with Aang's arm stretched out between them, his fingers just barely out of reach from Zuko’s skin.

(Is it just Zuko or does it feel like there is static electricity pulsating between Aang's fingertips and Zuko's chest?)

“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” Aang says quietly. He still has one arm trapped under his head but his free hand moves across the silky sheets absentmindedly.

“Of course,” And Zuko continues without thinking (because if he had thought about it he would have just stopped talking right there), “Anything for you.”

Aang’s eyebrows shoot up and a smirk dances across his lips.

Unlike at dinner, Zuko doesn’t have distance or a dimly lit dining hall to hide the blush in his cheeks.

“Anything, huh?” the Avatar teases, his voice like song.

“Shut up,” Zuko rolls his eyes, familiar with the playful teasing but not wanting any part of it at the moment. This pulls a nice chuckle out of Aang. He's always loved to get a rise out of the Fire Lord.

Zuko starts to roll away from him, embarrassed and needing the bed to just open up and swallow him whole. But Aang’s hands shoot out and grab Zuko’s to keep him in place, to pull him a little closer.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” He’s dropped the teasing tone, replacing it with a gentler one, but the sparkle in his eyes remains. The tips of Zuko’s ears feel like they are catching fire as he looks between the grey eyes staring back at him and the curve of Aang’s upper lip.

“Nowhere,” he manages to whisper, but his voice doesn’t sound like his own. It sounds far away, like it’s coming from someone else’s mouth.

He’s trapped in his mind, listening to Aang’s words from earlier that night echo on repeat -- _“Best friends.”_

That’s all they are, and this game Aang is playing is just that -- a game between friends. He is a fool to think the Avatar would want anything otherwise.

Zuko clears his throat. “I’m really tired,” he declares a little too loudly.

He pulls his hands out of Aang’s grip and turns over before he can get a response, ignoring the sharp tug in his chest and missing the look of surprise and confusion that passes over the airbender’s face.

“Are you alright?” Aang asks warily.

Zuko emits a muffled sound that resembles an affirmation, pressing his fingertips to his lips.

For once, Aang catches a hint and doesn’t press on.

“Okay,” Aang concedes, “Goodnight Zuko.”

“Goodnight,” Zuko replies back, his eyes tightly shut begging to be anywhere but here next to Aang. He counts the air nomad's breaths until he falls asleep.

In the middle of the night, Zuko feels too warm. He’s half awake when he realizes Aang is pressed up against his back, an arm lazily draped over Zuko’s stomach.

Zuko lifts his hand and reverently traces the blue lines of the arrow on the back of Aang’s hand, as lightly as he can. 

For a moment he forgets the feelings of confusion and apprehension and can only think about the delicate skin underneath his fingertips.

How would it feel to graze these fingertips along the Avatar’s shoulders, his jawline, or his chest? Would the skin be as soft?

He allows himself a selfish moment of indulgence. It feels as if he is still dreaming..

Aang lets out a breath in his sleep, hot on the back of Zuko’s neck and he shivers.

He jerks away from Aang, reminded of the dreams he’s had of his friend. The ones that haunt him in the daytime. Reminded of what he wants but can not have.

The sudden movement wakes Aang, whose eyelashes flutter at the disturbance. He rubs the heel of his hand over his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he says with a gruff voice, heavy with sleep. Zuko’s heart flutters at the sound.

“Nothing,” Zuko says, clearing his throat, “Go back to sleep.”

Aang nods his head with his eyes still closed and rolls over, away from Zuko, and falls back into sleep.

Zuko sighs with relief, and lays back down. He shuffles to the edge of his king size bed, deliberately creating a more dividing space between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aang is a bit of a tease, huh? Despite how serious Adult!Aang is in canon, I would like to think that he still maintains some of his playfulness into adulthood.  
> Also although Zuko is known for being impulsive, I feel like that would not translate to his love life. Especially with something slightly more complicated, like with Aang.
> 
> But don't worry, things will be happening soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Last chapter! Loosely inspired by the canon fact that Zuko and Aang share dreams (like wtf?! I'm just saying, it's about the implications), a conversation my partner and I had before we started dating, the song Say It by Maggie Rogers, and this amazing fan art : [Link text](https://the-dancing-dragons.tumblr.com/post/45912833972/zukaang-week-day-5-before-separation-tbh-i)
> 
> Enjoy!

Zuko wakes with the sun, streams of light casting over his face pulling him out of his fitful sleep. Aang lay beside him, arms tucked under his pillow and legs splayed out. His back rises and falls slightly with his breathes, and his eyes dance underneath his eyelids.

Zuko briefly wonders what Aang dreams about.

Zuko leaves Aang to sleep in while he goes down to the garden to train. He pushes thoughts of smooth skin and strong hands out of his mind, and focuses on his breathing. Sweat drips down the back of his neck as flames generate from his fists.

Afterwards, he showers and returns to his room to finish getting ready. The bed is empty and unmade. Aang’s glider is gone, but his robes from the night before are still on the floor in a crumpled pile.

Zuko lets out a sigh of relief, a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

Zuko’s not sure if he can spend another minute around Aang and his easy affection. He’s relieved to be alone so he can have some time to think without Aang’s overwhelming presence.

Aang fills up any room he walks into, his title only taking partial credit for this. The rest belongs to his charm, his confidence, and the way he speaks gently and kindly to everyone he meets. _And his good looks certainly don’t hurt_ , Zuko thinks to himself.

Zuko has seen the way others look at him when he sits in on meetings or strolling through town. Even Zuko’s advisors, who don’t particularly care for the Avatar, cannot help but be enthralled by him.

But no one else has the privilege of knowing Aang the way Zuko does, and even though he finds a secret comfort in that fact, it's not enough for Zuko.

Zuko perches himself on the windowsill, watching the curtains flow in the breeze. It’s still early in the morning, the sun not yet reaching its peak. He leans his head back on the window frame and closes his eyes, feeling drowsy from the warmth.

When he opens them again, he feels a strong gust of wind on his face and sees Aang perched precariously on the windowsill. He closes his glider and places it inside.

“Good morning Sifu,” Aang says with a maniacal grin.

“Too early for that, Aang,” Zuko responds, closing his eyes again. He silently wishes for the airbender to take off again, so he can have a few more moments without having to feel the deep longing in his chest.

Aang ignores his comment and asks, “Where’d you go this morning?”

“To train,” Zuko shrugs, his eyes still screwed shut.

“You should have woken me up, I would have sparred with you.”

Zuko feels a touch on his knee, heavy and warm. His eyes fly open and he recoils from the gesture of affection, tucking his knees in towards his chest.

“Hey, are you okay? You’re acting weird again,” Aang questions, oblivious concern on his face. His hand is still hovering above where Zuko’s knee once was.

“Don’t do that,” Zuko says sternly, shame rising up through his chest and blossoming.

“Don’t do what?” Aang asks sincerely, “Why are you pushing me away?”

Zuko feels ridiculous. He feels like he’s a teenager again: embarrassed and flustered and emotional. He knows this is not how someone who spends every day ruling a nation should handle a serious discussion, but this is not a discussion he has every day.

He takes a steadying breath, “Why did you come here?”

“You said that I could,” Aang replies slowly, his brows pulled together. The confused look on his face only riles up Zuko even more.

“Don’t play dumb. Why did you want to come?” Zuko repeats his question, maybe more harshly than intended.

Aang lets out a sigh through his nose. He looks at the floor, avoiding Zuko’s imploring stare. He’s quiet for so long that Zuko begins to say something to break the silence, perhaps apologize.

“I dream about you, about us,” Aang admits, “Together.” Aang doesn’t blush often, not embarrassed by much, but when he does it is a sight to behold. “That’s why I wanted to come see you again. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I’ve been having dreams about you too,” Zuko says quietly after a beat, inspecting his fingers like they’re new to him.

He can see Aang’s head perk up out of the corner of his eye, and he can picture the way his eyes go wide and his mouth opens slightly in surprise. He doesn’t even need to see it to know.

Aang begins to stutter out another question, “Did you have the one, you know, where we—”

Zuko cuts him off with a tight nod and Aang laughs to himself. They had both forgotten the fact that they have shared many dreams in the past.

The small confession from Aang makes Zuko feel brave.

“Why haven’t you said anything about the fact that you kissed me?”

“Are you mad that I did it?”

“I don’t know, did you mean to do it?” Zuko retorts.

He knows the answer before it’s even said out loud. Aang never does anything he doesn’t mean. “Of course,” Aang replies.

“Then no, I’m not mad.” The corners of Zuko’s mouth tug upward despite his determination to keep a straight face.

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think I needed to. I thought I had made it very clear how I felt about you,” Aang’s right eyebrow raises in an over exaggerated, insinuating expression and holds it for a moment before continuing, “But from the second I got here I could tell you were…tense. I didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”

Aang reaches out again for Zuko and grasps his hand. He squeezes gently, testing the waters. Zuko doesn’t say it out loud in that moment, maybe he will one day, but he appreciates the Avatar’s patience with him. No one else (except for maybe his uncle) meets him where he is emotionally like Aang does. No one else shows up with no expectations from him like Aang does. Aang lets Zuko be himself, in his own time, and in his own way.

“I was just nervous about all of this.” The words he had been holding in are flowing out of his mouth beyond his control, bringing to light thoughts he hadn’t dared admit to even himself. "I mean, you're my best friend. I couldn't admit to myself that I want you, and then I was confused because you kept calling me your friend and friends don't kiss like that, and don't sleep in bed together, and..." Zuko's voice tapers off, embarrassment catching up to him.

Aang lifts his free hand to Zuko’s face and cups his jaw. Zuko lets his face rest heavily, breathing through his nose deeply. The simple touch offers him relief.

"You are my best friend, but I also want you. In so many ways. Much more than just a friend. I'm sorry I didn't make that more clear." Aang's words and the serious expression on his face makes Zuko's heart flutter, beating against the cage in his chest just begging for release. Zuko cannot take his eyes off of the air nomad's face, studying it for any signs of deception. Still unable to believe what he's hearing, Zuko decides to take the plunge before Aang changes his mind.

Zuko leans in, pulled towards Aang’s lips like a magnet. This time when their lips touch, he feels the gears in his mind clicking into place. There’s no lightning. Instead, a warm breeze surrounds him and wraps him in a comforting embrace. It’s not a wake up call, it’s a confirmation. 

Aang's mouth is strong and firm, moving against Zuko's with purpose. Zuko's head is swimming, the Avatar overpowering all of his senses. He grips the windowsill to remain tethered to this moment. Aang slides his hands into Zuko’s hair, tangling his fingers in the dark locks and Zuko’s mouth parts, a soft moan escaping.

“Come to bed with me,” Aang whispers into Zuko’s mouth.

He’s followed him all over the world before, for thousands of miles. He would do it again a million times over. He would follow Aang anywhere, even if he is still learning how to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading this! It felt so good to have this outlet again. I already have some more zukaang stuff that I'm working on that I can't wait for you all to read.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! Writing about these incredibly complex and well-written characters that someone ELSE has made is extremely intimidating. But I just had a lot of feelings about this pairing that I need to get out.
> 
> Come say hi to me on tumblr --> moderndaygaang


End file.
